This book is dedicated to my beautiful friend Lala. Your writing is what brought me here and inspired me to write something of my own. Thank you for supporting me, pushing me, and loving me Beanie. I love you forever and always x Thank you to my amazing friends Angel,...

Some of the characters are Australian. I will put a ~ next to their name, so you know which 😉 Emily Browning~ MC (Main Character) - Camilla Evelyn Adams Resides in Brooklyn NYC Australian 27 years old Free-lance proofreader Single Isla Fisher~ Camilla’s best friend -...

"Hurry up, Sterling," I say while using the wall next to Sterling's door to hold up my jelly legs. Sterling is leaning on his door, fumbling with his keys, trying to remember which one opens the door. "Why is everything so fuzzy?" He says while squinting at his keys....

Monday morning "It's just a name search; it's not creepy," I say to myself as I turn my computer on and launch Google. Kay and I had spent all of Sunday searching social media for a Jonathan Harris; there were plenty of Jonathan Harris' but not my Detective. It was...

After my interesting morning with Jonathan and the awkward exchange with Sterling, I came home and changed out of my sweater and my university t-shirt. I've been unproductive since then, spending a ridiculous amount of time laying on my couch staring at the ceiling....

Tuesday: Late afternoon "Really, Cami?" I hear Kay ask from behind me. "What?" I shrug, turning around. "Bra and undies?" Her eyes dart to the baking tin sitting on my kitchen bench. "And what is that? Cake? Did you make that?" She gasps. "Yep," I say as I stuff more...

"Detective," I say as I walk down the stairs. "Camilla," Jon replies, smiling at me. He takes a few steps forward, meeting me at the second to last step, and reaches out to me. I place my hand in his as I continue down the steps.  Art by @konturava.art "You look...

"We're done here!" Jonathan says harshly, standing to his feet, "come, Melek" he reaches his hand out for me. "I'd like to say it's been a pleasure, Sienna, but if I honest, it hasn't" I stand and take Jonathans hand. He walks around Sienna’s chair, lifting our hands...

Jonathan’s POV Pulling into the precinct car park, I let out a sigh. This is the last place I wanted to be and definitely not how I saw today going.  My final moments with Camilla outside her building were nothing short of perfect. I can still feel her lips on mine,...

Jon slowly leans past me and pushes the door closed. As he does, I subtly turn my head to the side and close my eyes, letting the woody and zesty notes of his cologne fill my nose. He is so intoxicating, and all I want to do is bathe in him. He leans back, and I...

"What's for breakfast, detective?" I ask curiously, lifting myself up onto Jon's counter, crossing my legs. "What do you feel like, Melek?" He asks, pulling his head out of his fridge and checking me out. "Comfy?" he teases. "Quite," I wink at him as I grab a cherry...

"ARSEHOLE!" I shove him. "What?" He giggles. "You know damn well what detective," I snap back at him as I grab my boots. "Oh, come on. I'm just messing with you," he pleads. "Two can play that game," I smirk at him as I slip my boots on. "Camilla-" I cut him off....

Two weeks flew by in the blink of an eye. Kay was out for two days before she bounced back and was back to her usual bubbly self. Between Laila and I, she didn't spend a minute alone during those two days. I didn't see Jon at all in those two weeks, but not because...

"Would you excuse me for a moment, Camilla?" Jonathan squeezes my hips. "I-" but that's all I got to say before he slipped out from behind me and made his way towards Sterling, who was standing beside the stage, sipping on his whiskey. I watched him greet him the same...

Jonathan’s POV Sunday morning Slowly opening my eyes, I'm instantly hit with the sun blaring full force in my windows. Christ! I think to myself. I lay there cursing at myself for not closing the windows last night when I hear a soft sigh leave Camilla's lips as she...

"Crap!" I jump at the ping of my phone. I had been so engrossed in the trial transcript that I've been proofreading since I got home, that I had pretty much blocked out all external noises. My message tone is on the loudest setting thanks to Kay, she's adamant I'm...

Monday morning "What are you doing?" Jon inquires. "What do you think I'm doing?" I reply with a little sarcasm behind my words. "I think you're fiddling with my ear," he says quietly. "Then why ask what I'm doing?" "Because I wanted to know what you think you're...

Three months. That’s how long it’s been since I met Jonathan. My life is completely different now and to be honest, if you had told me 4 months or even a year ago I would be dating the love of my life, I would have laughed in your face. It’s been quite the adjustment...

Jonathan’s POV After a long hot bath with Camilla, she crawls into bed and falls asleep almost immediately. I’ll never get sick of seeing her tangled up in my sheets. This is the first time she has slept naked in our bed. Camilla has always slept with her comfy undies...

After my little fainting spell this morning and Jonathan hovering over me like a mother hen, he finally let me help him organise his new bookshelf. We spent the majority of the time arguing back and forth about how it should be organised. He wanted to randomly sort...

After a couple of uncomfortable hours on the floor, I dragged myself up and onto my bed. That’s where I stayed for the rest of the day. The only time I got up was to pee and take painkillers for the mind-numbing headache I had given myself. I slept on and off, but...

They say in high-stress situations people will look for anything to hold onto to ground themselves and feel like they have some control over a situation that otherwise feels out of control. Without realising it, the door handle to Dr. Willet’s office had become that...

After an anxious night with Jonathan, Emir was finally able to get a hold of their parents and tell them what had happened to Jonathan. The scream that their mother, Yael, let out was something I think I will never forget. It was a gut-wrenching, animalistic cry,...

The thought of Jonathan waking up and not remembering me or anyone else in his life made me feel physically sick. Even after I threw up, the constant feeling of nausea stayed with me. I naively thought that everything would go back to normal once the swelling went...

When you’re in an emotional place, such as mine, the problem with running is that you tend to have no destination in mind, and you aren’t paying attention to your environment and who might be inhabiting it. I found this out very quickly when my panic run came to an...

“Where do you think you’re going?” I hear Laila sternly say from behind me. Shit, I think to myself as let go of the door handle and turn to her. “I was—” “Hoping to sneak out again without breakfast.” Laila crosses her arms over her chest. “Absolutely not, I was just...

I spent the entire Uber trip back to my apartment convincing Emir to go back to Turkey with Jonathan. The only way I could convince Emir to go back was for me. He even refused that at first, but he could hear the exhaustion in my voice, so he stopped fighting me. I...

“Are you ok, dear?” Diane turns around and looks at me from the front passenger’s seat. “Mm-hm.” I sniff, brushing the tears off my cheeks. “Here,” she says, handing me a packet of tissues. “Keep them.” “Thank you,” I softly reply as I take a tissue. “So, where are...

“Well slap my ass and call me Clementine!” Dean says, stopping in his tracks, turning to face me. “What brings you to my neck of the woods, darlin?” I was caught off guard by Dean’s appearance. He wasn’t the big, tall, serious fireman I met outside the hospital. He...

“Dean,” I said quietly as I knocked on his door. “It’s Camilla.” I could hear his TV on, but no other signs of life. Perhaps he’s asleep, I thought to myself as I lifted my hand to knock again. Before I could, Dean opened the door. The expression on his face was...

Opening my door to let an eager Pickle out, I come face to face with a tall, curvy, dark-skinned, caramel eyed goddess. She had the most beautiful flowing hair that laid perfectly over her shoulders framing her face in all the right places. “I was just about to knock....

Jonathan’s POV   Turkey   I’ve been home for forty-one days and every single one of those days has been torture. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and every time I close my eyes, I see Camilla’s face, pain etched on it as I told her I was leaving. It wasn’t until a...

“Hey darlin,” Dean said quietly, sitting down on the sunbed next to me. “Hey,” I glanced over at him before looking back at the setting sun. It’s funny how quickly a day can end. If you’d told me this morning that this day would end with the knowledge that Jonathan...

A month and a half later…   Do you ever look at an animal and think, “Are you going to kill me in my sleep and then eat my decaying corpse?” If not, then you’re lucky. I, however, am not that lucky. Pickle has, over the last month and a bit, gone from being my...

“Home,” I sigh contently, closing my eyes and smiling to myself. After Dean left Maplewood, the days flew by and in the blink of an eye, it was my time to go home. Leaving Maplewood was sad, but I was more than ready to get back into the swing of things back home....

Jonathan’s POV   “I’m walking away from you like you walked away from me.” Her words repeated over and over in my head until the only thing I could hear was, “You walked away from me.” What cuts deepest is, she’s not wrong. I did walk away from her, and I did it...

Saturday – Day of the Gala   I’ve been home almost ten days and it’s been – different. I knew once I came home that the routine I had at Maplewood would change but I didn’t think it would be such a big change. I’m still up early but I’m finding I have far too...

Jonathan’s POV   Gotham Hall, lit up in the colours of the NYPD and this year, the FDNY. It's truly a sight to behold. I look forward to this event every year. Though I don’t remember last years, I do remember the years prior, and I always have a good time. This...

I don't feel it. I'm sorry. You own me, Camilla. I can't give you what you want. I love you. I tried. You are the love of my life, Camilla. I have nothing keeping me here. Those words echoed in my mind as I looked up at Jonathan. He’d said those words the day he chose...