Jonathan’s POV

 

Turkey

 

I’ve been home for forty-one days and every single one of those days has been torture. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and every time I close my eyes, I see Camilla’s face, pain etched on it as I told her I was leaving. It wasn’t until a small note from her fell from a pair of my jeans that everything made sense.

Stay safe tonight. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.

I love you,

Camilla x

The moment I read it the ache in my heart stopped and for the first time in forty-one days, my heart felt… complete. It was at this moment I realized that the pain I had been feeling this entire month was because my heart was with her. It will always be with her; she’s my soul, my heart, she is my home, and I need to get back to her.

Packing my bags, I go over what I’m going to say to her when I see her multiple times. Will she slam the door in my face? If she does, what’s the plan then? I don’t want to push her, but I can’t lose her either. I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of knocking at my door.

“I’m pregnant.” Those are the first words out of Sienna’s mouth when I open the door.

“What are you doing here, Sienna? I told you not to follow me.” I did nothing to hide my frustration at the sight of her.

“Did you not hear me? I’m pregnant.” She looks at me pissed off.

“I heard you Sienna, but we both know it’s not mine.”

“Yes, it is!” She snaps.

“Sienna, come on,” I try to hold back a laugh.

“I’m your-“

I cut her off. “You’re my nothing Sienna, and you know that.” I pause. “This,” I say, pointing between us, “Is over.”

“This isn’t over, Jonathan! I’m having your baby!” She balls her hands into fists as she stomps her foot.

“It is,” I reply harshly.

“YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME, JONATHAN!” She screams, realising that I’m onto her.

“I can and I will,” I reply coldly, closing the door.

Sienna begins screaming and yelling before stomping off in her overpriced heals and speeding out of my driveway.

“Good riddance,” I say under my breath as I return to packing.

 

Brooklyn

 

The moment I landed; my feet carried me straight to what I hope is Camilla’s apartment building. My heart is telling me it is and I’m trusting that feeling from now on. Standing there, looking at her apartment doors, every feeling and thought I had worked so hard to suppress bubbled to the surface.

“I’m a coward, a selfish man that ran at the first sign of trouble. I ran from my work, my friends and worst of all I ran from you, I ran while you were fighting for me, for us. I didn’t even try.” I sigh. “I don’t deserve you, Camilla,” I say quietly to myself as I look over to her window.

I’ve come this far and even if she slams the door in my face I’m not going to give up. Not this time. Taking a deep breath, I walk up her steps. I only make it up one before I’m stopped in my tracks by the sound of a woman yelling at me from behind. I spin around, hoping it’s her, hoping it’s Camilla, but the red hair immediately tells me it isn’t.

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” She yells, running across the road towards me.

I take a step back putting my hands up in defence as she gets closer. She lunges at me only to be caught by a man from behind, mid-air.

“PUT ME DOWN, MICAH!” She screams, struggling in his arms.

“No!” He says sternly as tightens his grip on her.

“Kay?” I ask, stepping down off the steps.

Kay’s eyes narrow at me.

“Mate, if I were you, I’d leave while I still have her,” Micah warns.

“I can’t, I need to see her. I need to see Camilla,” I reply quietly.

“NO! YOU DON’T GET TO SEE HER OR TALK TO HER YOU ARSEHOLE!” Kay shouts. “YOU FUCKING BROKE HER! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU BROKE MY BEST FRIEND AND NOW I’M GOING TO BREAK YOU!” Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she spat those words at me.

“Wha-“

Emir cuts me off. “What the fuck are doing here?”

“Emir?” I turn around, shocked to see my brother standing there.

“Answer the question Jonathan,” he snaps at me.

“I need to see Camilla.”

“NO!” Kay yells.

“Kay, stop!” Micah scolds her.

Emir puts his hand up signalling Kay to calm down. “She’s not here, Jonathan.” He narrows his eyes at me.

“Where is she?” I ask, cautiously.

“None of your fucking business!” Emir spits at me. “You gave up the right to know anything about her when you walked out and ran home like a bitch.” He pushes past me and walks over to his car, placing the box he had in his hands in the trunk. “Now, do us all a favour and fuck off back home.”

“Please, Emir, Kay,” I look between them. “I need to see her, I need to speak to her, I have to make this righ-“

“YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF!” Kay yells.

Emir slams the trunk, striding up to me, getting close to my face. “You had your chance birader and you chose wrong, now fuck off before I lose my temper and hurt you.” He seethes through gritted teeth.

“No! I won’t let anything get in the way of me talking to her, I have wasted enough time, I won’t waste anymore.” I stand my ground.

All I heard next was a loud crack as Emir’s fist made contact with my face, the pain instantly vibrating through my entire cheek and head.

“FUCK!” I groan, stumbling backwards, grabbing the side of my face.

Emir stalks towards me, hands balled at his side. I back up slowly, hitting the bottom step with the back of my shoes.

“Stop, Emir!” Kay yells as I spit blood onto the sidewalk.

He stops in his tracks, eyeing me as I wipe the blood off my lip. “Don’t come back Jonathan, I’m warning you,” He points at me, then turns and strides off to his car.

As Emir drives off, I sit down on the stoop in shock and a little dazed. I could taste the harsh metal flavour of blood in my mouth as my lip continues to bleed. Reaching up, I wipe it with the back of my hand careful to avoid the side of my face that was now throbbing.

This isn’t the first time me and Emir have come to blows, we are far too much alike and growing up we butted heads constantly.

“Christ!” I breathe out. “I’d forgotten how hard he can hit.”

And before you ask, no, I’m not mad at my brother. I’m glad Camilla had him to look out for her and be there when I wasn’t. The moment Micah lets Kay go, she shoots me a scowl and then storms off across the road, slamming her café door as she goes.

“Are you alright, man?” Micah chuckles as he walks up to me and crouches down.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I reply, rubbing the back of my neck and sighing in frustration.

“Listen, I can’t tell you where Camilla is, but I can tell you that she is where she needs to be right now and if you really want her back then you need to give her this time,” Micah says, eyeing up my now swelling face.

I wanted to press Micah further, but I could tell by the vibe he was sending me that it was definitely out of the question.

“I’ll wait, no matter how long it takes.”

“Good, come over to my car and I’ll get you cleaned up.” He pats my arm as he stands and offers me his hand.

Over the next month, I spent almost every day reliving all the moments she had told me about while I was in the hospital. I watched all the movies, I ate all the food we had eaten together, I read the books at home that she had given me or suggested I read. I spent hours at the Brooklyn Bridge Park, feeling what she said she felt on our first date, and for a moment, I could feel her sitting beside me smiling, looking out at the river. On the nights I missed her and my heart wouldn’t stop hurting, I would walk to her apartment and just sit on the stoop, quietly wishing that one day the window light will be on, and I can finally see her again.

I made a point of going and seeing all our friends; Reneya and Anthony were the first. Reneya slapped me twice, once for her and once for the baby and kicked me out. I didn’t expect anything less if I’m being honest. I did get to speak to Anthony, and we are working on our friendship, and I’ll work on winning Reneya back as well. Annie and Angel both took turns slapping me while Tyler and Stef watched on, laughing it up. Arseholes! Annie and Angel, though still angry are also amazingly forgiving women, I knew this was my very last chance. Kay refused to see me. I know she will take the longest to come around and I’ll put in the time because she is someone that means a lot to Camilla.

The last person on my list was Laila. I wasn’t looking forward to this meeting and I was right to be nervous.

Laila didn’t make eye contact with me when she entered the Café. Instead, she walked over to the counter and placed her order.

As she approached me, I stood from my chair to greet her “Laila, Than-”

Laila grabbed my balls and twisted them hard as she tugged me close and growled, “if you hurt Camilla again, I will rip your balls off and feed them to you. Do you understand, detective?” She said, giving them an extra squeeze in case I had forgotten they were in her hand.

“Y- yes,” I managed to say through gritted teeth.

“Good!” she smiles, looking me up and down, letting my balls go. “I’ll take my drink to go.” Laila calls to the barrister behind the counter. “Have a good day, detective.” She calls over her shoulder, leaving the café.

“Yeeeeah…You too,” I groan, falling to the floor holding my balls, curling up into the fetal position.

On the positive side, she didn’t tell me to fuck off. So, that has to mean something, right?

Emir and I didn’t speak. I needed to give him space and I also needed to show him that I was serious about righting my wrongs with Camilla. I know he loves me, and I love him. We will get there but at his pace and I’m ok with that.

While making the breakfast Camilla told me she loved, my phone rang and when I saw his name, I was both nervous but optimistic that maybe he was reaching out. I was wrong, so so wrong.

“Birader, Hi,”

“Is it true?” He growls down the phone at me.

“Is what true?” I reply confused.

“Don’t play stupid with me Jonathan.”

“I’m not, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Turn your TV on,” he orders.

I dart over to my TV and switch it on. 

“What channel?”

“10,” He replies impatiently.

The moment I hit the channel I hear it.

“We have some exciting news for all you Sienna Cole fans out there. In a press conference today, Sienna announced that she is pregnant and expecting a baby middle of next year. We have yet to hear who the lucky man is, but we have our suspicions it’s her very sexy ex. We’ll keep you all updated as we get new information, but Celebrity Today would like to Congratulate Sienna and her partner on the fantastic news.”

My heart stopped and anger took over.

“FUCK!” I yell, throwing the remote, smashing it to pieces on the floor.

“It is true?” Emir yells down the phone.

“NO EMIR!” I yell back. “It’s not true! That baby isn’t mine!”

“Jesus, Jonathan,” Emir sighs.

“FUCK! Why is she doing this?” 

“She’s a fucking snake! I told you when you were dating her and I told you again in the hospital but you wouldn’t listen.” 

“I know, ok, I KNOW!” I snap back.

“You better hope Camilla hasn’t seen that. It’ll kill her.” 

“Emir, you have to tell me where she is,” I beg.

“I’ve gotta go, I’m getting another call.” 

“EMIR!” I pull the phone away from my ear and see he’s hung up.

“FUCK THIS!” I yell, my words bouncing off the walls.

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I grab my keys and jacket and head for the door. I know how I can find her. It’s not legal but I have to try.

Pulling into the precinct car park, I make quick work of getting up the stairs and into the foyer. Sitting behind the front desk is Mara, busying herself with paperwork.

How do I remember Mara? I don’t, it’s on her name badge hanging from her uniform pocket.

“Mara, hi, long time no see.”

“Detective Harris, oh my gosh! How are you? I haven’t seen you since the incident.” She steps out from behind her desk and walks around the protective glass pulling me into a hug.

“I’m doing ok Mara, but I’m in a rush.” I pull back, nervously smiling at her.

“Oh, sorry, you must be here to see the captain?”

“Ahh, yes, I am. Could you buzz me in?” My stomach twists as she scans my face.

She knows I’m lying, fuck!

“Of course, detective,” she beams, leaning past me and sliding her card over the security pad.

“Thank you so much, Mara.” Excitement rushes through me as I lean forward and give her a peck on the cheek. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Awww stop, you’ll make me-“

I cut her off. “Sorry Mara, I gotta go. It was nice seeing you!” I call over my shoulder as the door closes behind me.

Taking long strides, I get to an office door that has my name on it. Swinging the door open, I flick the lights on. It’s definitely my office, it’s tidy and clean. I can’t say the same for Anthony’s desk.

“Jesus Anthony, clean your desk up mate.” I sigh, annoyed.

Sitting down behind my desk, I switch my computer on and log in.

From the day you join the force they issue you one login. It never changes, no matter where you move in the department. 

The National Triangulation System is something we use to get a location on someone, it doesn’t give you an exact location but it will give you an area to work it and that’s all I need. I type in Camilla’s phone number and as I go to hit locate Captain Holton walks in.

“Jonathan! What are you doing here?” He strides up to my desk.

I quickly close the NTS program. Using the NTS program outside of official police business is a crime. If Holton saw or knew I would face some very serious charges and never work in the police service again but my need to find and explain this situation to Camilla overrides that possible threat.

Standing from my chair, I meet Captain Holton at the corner of my desk “Oh, ah, just checking to see how the investigation was coming along,” I shrug.

Lie!

“You didn’t need to come in, I would have called if we found anything new.” He smiles.

“I know, but you know me, I’m impatient.”

“Indeed, you are,” he chuckles. “Anyway, let’s head to my office and catch up.”

“I was actua-”

Holton cuts me off. “We have many things to discuss.” He gestures towards the door. “One of which is when you’ll be coming back,” he smirks.