“Where do you think you’re going?” I hear Laila sternly say from behind me.

Shit, I think to myself as let go of the door handle and turn to her.

“I was—”

“Hoping to sneak out again without breakfast.” Laila crosses her arms over her chest.

“Absolutely not, I was just making sure I locked the doors.” I smile nervously at her.

“Yeah, and I’m the queen of England,” Laila huffs out as she rolls her eyes at me and heads for the kitchen. “Sit your arse down and eat your fried potato’s missy!”

Staying with Laila has been a welcome distraction from everything that has been going on with Jonathan and Shitenna—Yes, that’s her new name. When Jonathan asked for space, it hurt, but I knew we both needed it, even if I didn’t want to admit it. I wasn’t ready to go back to my apartment and be alone with my thoughts. I think Laila catches me when I drift to that dark place because she’ll make a point of asking me to proofread her newest chapter, even though we both know she doesn’t need it. I appreciate it though.

This week has been hard, not only emotionally but mentally. The officers assigned to Jonathan and Reneya’s case stopped by to get both of their statements. Jonathan only became frustrated that he couldn’t tell them anything, but luckily Reneya could fill in the gaps for him. Sterling was there, and although I’m still upset with him, I knew it wasn’t completely his fault. We remained civil, and he was unbelievably understanding with Jonathan. After the interviews, I told Jonathan that Sterling and I had slept together before we met. Jonathan had quite a flat affect and if I’m honest, I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

Every day this week I’ve spent showing Jonathan all the amazing moments we had shared. The second day after he woke up, I ordered the same breakfast we had at Opera café on our first date and took it into the hospital. The third day, I ordered the coffee he had after we met at Kay’s café, and I even stole the little flowerpot that was on the table. On the fourth day, I wore his favourite thigh-high boots with the white dress that he asked me to be his girlfriend in and even brought the candles from that night. On the fifth day, I put on Thor: Ragnarok and brought in the chocolate beer and pizza from that night. I did all this BEFORE Shitenna arrived. I wanted the first thing he saw when he woke to be us, what we are and will always be.

Jonathan mostly tried hard to be present for all our moments, but I could see his mind always wandering off. It was so painful not being able to reach out and reassure him and the one time we touched he immediately recoiled and apologised. I literally felt my heart tear out of my chest when he did that, but I have to remember that this isn’t my Jonathan right now and that it will take time for us to get back to where we were. There were moments where I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was helping or just making things worse, but I’m unwilling to give up without a fight and if he keeps engaging in these moments with me, I will keep going.

The doctors had been working hard to get Jonathan out of the hospital as soon as possible. We could all feel how irritated he was in there and with zero issues since he woke, there really wasn’t a reason to keep him. They pulled the security outside his room back and everyone could come and visit. Reneya, Annie and Angel didn’t hold back their disgust at Shitenna being around, and I’m sure that left alone with her they would have all scratched not only her eyes out but Jonathan’s as well. Anthony was quiet the entire time he was visiting. I could see he was heartbroken that his best friend and partner didn’t know him. Emir came and went, but he couldn’t stand being around Shitenna for more than five minutes. Whatever had happened between them had not resolved, and I hated seeing them like this. Saph’s boss forced her back to Turkey. Unfortunately, he wasn’t overly understanding of the situation.

“What’s the date today?” Laila asks as she plates up the potatoes she’d cooked.

“Fried chicken waffle day,” I reply as I slide onto the barstool.

“Is that why you’re wearing your first date outfit with the fuck me boots?” She shoots me a dirty smirk.

“Jonathan loves these boots and I want to look exactly as I did that day.” I mindlessly stuff a potato into my mouth.

“Well, you look gorgeous Cami.” She grins at me. “If the boots don’t jog that boy’s memory, I don’t know what will.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for.” I shrug my shoulders. “Oh, how are things with Sterling?”

“There isn’t anything going on with us right now. Which is a shame cos I really miss that mouth of his.” She disappears into her thoughts for a moment before looking back at me.

“That isn’t because of me, is it? Because you know I have no issue with you two seeing each other.”

“No, it has more to do with our schedules.” She shrugs. “Anyway, I have a meeting with the grey club today, but I won’t be late getting back here. Order out tonight?”

“Will that order include a garlic and cheese pizza?” I give her a sassy look.

“Of course! I’m not an animal.”

“Then I’m in.” I give her a thumbs up.

“I can’t with you sometimes.” Laila rolls her eyes at me as she heads for the door.

“I can’t with myself sometimes,” I retort.

“Anyway, Ms, good luck today. Knock him dead and if you don’t, I will.” Laila winks at me as she puts her coat on.

“Thanks, Lail’s.”

Laila blows me a kiss as she closes the door. I quickly finish up eating my potato’s and scurry out the door. I need to get down to the waffle van, pick up my order and get to the hospital before the traffic gets too bad and I’m left dealing with Shitenna.

I jump out of the Uber and power walk the best I can in my boots to the fried waffle van. I wait impatiently in the line before catching the owner’s attention. Waving me up to the front, he leans down and hands me the fried waffle bag. I grab it, smile, and leg it back to the car.

“Say hi to Jonathan for me,” He calls after me.

“I will, thank you,” I yell back as I open the Uber door and slide in.

Traffic was hell, but I’m still making good time. Sitting in this tiny space with this savoury aroma wafting from this bag is making my mouth water. I don’t know if I’ll be able to speak to Jonathan without drooling all over him.

The Uber pulls up at the back entrance of the hospital. I hand money to the driver and dash out of the car, run through the doors, and make a beeline for the elevators. Checking my watch, and not paying attention to anyone around me, I run straight into Dr. Willet and spill his coffee all over the floor.

“Oh my god! Dr Willet, I’m so sorry. Shit!” I bend down and pick up his now broken cup.

“I should know better than to carry my favourite cup around in the back of the emergency department,” he chuckles.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Are you ok?” I attempt to brush the coffee off his now coffee-stained white coat.

“Lucky for you Camilla, these coats provide an excellent barrier for drinks, blood and spit.” He continues to chuckle.

“I’m so sorry.” I hand him his broken cup.

“It’s fine Camilla, honestly. This cup was getting old and stained, anyway.” He smiles at me.

“I’ll replace it.”

“No, no. Absolutely not dear, it’s a cup. I’ll survive, I promise,” He winks at me.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

“Ok.” I nervously smile at him. “Um, how is Jonathan this morning?”

“He’s good and you’ll be happy to know that we are releasing him today.”

“What? Really?” My words came out in different tones as my excitement grew.

“Yep, I have given him the all-clear.” His face lights up with just as much excitement as mine.

“AHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD!” I scream as I pull Dr Willet into a hug. “Thank you so much!”

Dr Willet chuckles as I swing him around a few times and then abruptly stop, “I gotta go!” I released my hold on him. “Thank you,” I call over my shoulder as I head for the elevators.

“You’re welcome, Camilla,” He shouts back.

The moment the elevator opens, I dash towards Jonathan’s room. I’m stopped abruptly by loud shouting coming from his room. The officers that were stationed outside of Jonathan’s room are nowhere to be seen. I slowly open the door and come face to face with Emir and Jonathan in each other’s face yelling back and forth in Turkish.

Art by @konturava.art

Without a moment’s hesitation, I drop the food and run towards them.

“HEY! HEY! STOP IT!” I yell as I try to push them apart.

“Stay out of this, Camilla,” Emir says sternly to me.

“NO! I won’t stay out of this.” I push Emir and Jonathan apart.

Standing in the middle of the now two angry brothers, I can feel the tension. You could cut it with a knife.

“Camilla! This has nothing to do with you!” Jonathan shouts.

“It has everything to do with her, you fucking idiot!” Emir growls at Jonathan.

“I’m the fucking idiot?” Jonathan lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Takes one to know one, brother.”

“Choose your words wisely, brother. I will not hesitate to knock you on your arse,” Emir replies curtly, with an air of forewarning.

I don’t doubt for a minute he would drop Jonathan. Regardless of the circumstances.

“I’m not a fucking child anymore Emir, you don’t get to threaten me,” Jonathan snaps back.

I feel Emir step up behind me. I take a step towards Jonathan, creating a space between myself and Emir.

“STOP! You are brothers!” I yell between them, “Emir! Take a walk, NOW!” I point to the door before turning to Jonathan. “And you.” I point at him. “Don’t bait Emir!”

“I’m not done with him!” Emir points over my shoulder towards Jonathan.

“Yes, you fucking are, now LEAVE!” I yell at him.

Emir lets out a loud huff as he heads for the door. Stopping, he says, “If you go through with this birader (brother), you’re dead to me.” The door slams closed behind him.

I turn to Jonathan and, raising a brow, ask, “What the fuck is going on? What’s he talking about?”

“Nothing.” He turns around and starts packing.

“What do you mean, nothing?” I move towards him.

He doesn’t answer me, just continues to pack his suitcase.

“Hey! I’m talking to you.” I grab his arm, turning him to face me.

“It’s just a misunderstanding. He’ll get over it.” he rolls his eyes and turns back around.

“Jonathan! Look at me!”

“What Camilla? What do you want?” He snaps at me.

I take a step back, surprised by his attitude.

“Talk to me. What is going on?” I ask nervously, not sure how to approach Jonathan now.

“There is nothing to talk about,” He replies abruptly.

“I come in here, find you and your brother in each other’s faces yelling and screaming and all you can say is, ‘There’s nothing to talk about’?”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“Jonathan, please,” I plead with him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He turns slowly and sits on the bed’s edge. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously he says, “I’m going back to Turkey.”

“What? Why? Wait, when?” I ask, shocked.

“Tonight,” he replies quietly.

“Ok, um well, I’ll go home now and pack.”

“No, Camilla,” he sighs.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” I look at him, confused.

That’s when it hits me. That’s when I realise what Emir meant by, “It has everything to do with her”. That’s why they were fighting. He’s going back to Turkey without me. I stumble backwards, my stomach tying itself in knots.

He’s leaving me, I think to myself as pain shoots across my chest.

“Camilla, I’m sorry.” He quietly approaches me.

“No! Stay away from me!” I shout at him as I put my hand to stop him from coming any closer.

“Camilla, let me explain—”

“Let you explain what?” I cut him off. “That you’re leaving me? That you are walking away from us? What, Jonathan? WHAT? What is there to explain?” I shout at him. “Do you know what it’s been like to watch you laying in that bed fighting for life? Do you know what it’s like to spend every night not sure if tomorrow you will be better or worse? DO YOU? NO! You fucking don’t! I spent every night crying myself to sleep. My heart aching and my soul dying every minute you were in that coma,” I cry out. “I was here, Jonathan, every single minute of every single day. I fought all my anxieties for you because you needed me and because I love you,” I choke, trying to catch my breath. “I have spent every single moment since you’ve been awake fighting. Fighting for us, and you stand here and say that you won’t fight. You’re going to leave me—leave us.”

“I—” Jonathan pauses. “I tried, but it’s just—I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I scoff. “What is there to know? I’m here, Jonathan. I’m fighting for us tooth and nail. For god’s sake, FIGHT FOR US!” I shout at him. “Meet me halfway, please?”

“I can’t give you what you want, Camilla. I don’t feel it. I’m sorry.”

“If you get on that plane tonight, we’re done Jonathan.” I warn him as I wipe the tears from my cheeks.

“Why can’t you understand where I’m coming from?” He snaps at me.

“What?” I tilt my ear towards him. “Why can’t you see where I’m coming from?”

“I have nothing keeping me here,” he says bluntly and coldly.

I love Jonathan with everything that I am, but the person standing in front of me isn’t the man I fell in love with all those months ago. There’s not even a glimmer of that man now. And now, I have to protect my aching heart.

“Then go, I won’t beg you to stay, and I won’t chase you.” I turn away from him as I feel my strong wall break and the tears threatening to fall again at my words.

“Camilla, I’m sorry,” he says quietly behind me.

“Me too.” I walk towards the door, my hand shaking as I turn the knob.

Closing the door behind me is the most earth-shattering moment I think I have ever experienced in my life. That door represented our relationship and all that we were. Closing it ended our story. This was the end of the greatest love I had ever experienced. I don’t fight the tears this time, I let them fall and for a moment I think about running back in there and begging him on my knees to stay but I remind myself that you shouldn’t have to beg someone to stay in your life.

I force myself to step away from the door and as I do, I say quietly and through tears, “Goodbye Jonathan, I love you.” Placing a kiss on my hand and pressing it to his door.

As I turn around, a familiar scent fills my nose. It’s none other than Shitenna standing there within her classic mile-high stilettos with a stupid smile on her face.

“Oh, Camilla, are you ok?” Sienna asks with fake concern.

“Go to hell Sienna.” I roll my eyes, walking past her.

Knowing I can still hear her, she says to her assistant, “Don’t forget to put Delicious in the cat hotel while I’m in Turkey.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I turn to her, narrowing my eyes.

“Oh, did you not know?” she looks at me with fake shock. “Jonathan asked me to go to Turkey with him, so it looks like I won Camilla.”

For a moment I allow myself to imagine what it would be like to slap her fake, nasty arse face. What it would feel like to pull her fake extensions out of her head and shove them down her throat.

Mmm, how satisfying that would be, I think to myself.

I think that’s what she wants, so then she can play the victim to Jonathan. He’s so blinded by her he would believe her. I internally roll my eyes as I look at Sienna standing there, feeling extremely proud of herself. I fought harder to wipe that stupid grin off her ugly face.

“That’s brilliant Sienna!” I press my hands together in excitement. “But I will leave you with this thought. He may love you now, but he loved me first.” I wink at her, turn on my heel, and walk off.

If you’re wondering how on earth I came up with such an incredibly descriptive nickname for Sienna, I’m sorry but I can’t take credit for that. In one of our many conversations that consist of Angel scolding me for messing with Cami & Jon and me trying to win her heart back, she dropped the ‘Shitenna‘ name and I simply couldn’t resist using it 😉 I’m going to assume that all of you who are reading on here know the Angel I’m talking about BUT if by chance you don’t then you will find this literal angel on IG @angeleyes.writes x