After my interesting morning with Jonathan and the awkward exchange with Sterling, I came home and changed out of my sweater and my university t-shirt. I’ve been unproductive since then, spending a ridiculous amount of time laying on my couch staring at the ceiling. So it should have come as no surprise that I eventually fell asleep. The next thing I remember is hearing a low knocking sound in my dreams. It slowly got louder and annoyed me enough to wake me from my slumber. Rubbing my eyes, I hear a familiar voice calling through the door.

“Cam! Cami, it’s me, Sterling! Open up” 

I roll off my couch, and as I head down the hall towards the door, knots begin to form in my stomach with every step. I perch myself up on my tippy toes and look through the peephole. Sterling is standing there in his usual pinstripe suit, looking somewhat frustrated but also unbelievably delicious; I take a deep breath and slowly open the door. Before I can say anything, Sterling waltzes in looks me up and down and heads to my lounge.

“Hi, Camilla, how are you? Can I come in?” I mumble to myself while closing the door.

Cocky fuck, I think to myself as I make my way down to the lounge.

Turning the corner, I see Sterling looking rather comfortable on my couch. His feet are up, arms laid on the back of the sofa, and tie loosened a little. I lean against the door frame while looking at this cheeky shit, making himself at home. It’s not a side of Sterling I’ve seen before. Until the other night, he had always been quite soft and caring, but right now, he was acting like he owned the place, and it was pissing me off.

“I see you were expecting me,” he says while licking his lips and devouring my body with his eyes 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sterling,” I reply, rolling my eyes

“The sass, Cami. I like it.” A cheeky grin spreads across his face, “I’m good with repeating Friday night if you don’t want to talk.” He leans forward, eyes darkening with lust

“You wanted to talk, Sterling, not me,” I shoot back at him. “So speak and stop eye-fucking me”. 

“The only thing I want to be doing is you against that wall, but if you insist on talking, then let’s get on with it.” He rolls his eyes. “But…” he puts his finger up as if to quiet me, “I would like to add, your little disappearing act Saturday morning wasn’t cute, Cami,” he says in a sarcastic tone

“I panicked, Sterling. We have been friends since I moved to New York 18 months ago. Friday night, though we were drunk, took our friendship to an entirely new level, and it scared me”.

“Friends don’t fuck like that, Cam,” he scoffs.

“Don’t say it like that, Sterling,” shaking my head in disgust at his words. “I’m not one of your many whores,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

He gets up from my couch and walks towards me. Pulling his tie off in one swift motion, he throws it to the floor and unbuttons the top of his shirt. I quickly turn, my back now pressed up against the door frame. One of his hands makes quick work sliding up the side of my face, while the other lightly tuck a stray hair behind my ear before leaning in and whispering, “you could never be one of those girls to me, Cami.” He rests his forehead against mine, his eyes pleading with me. Silence immediately falls between us. We’re both trying desperately to work out what to do or say next. Before anything is said, Sterling’s lips are on mine, it takes me a moment to realise what’s happening, but when I do, I immediately push him away. It seems to startle him, and the look on his face is one of confusion and sadness.

“Don’t do this, Sterling,” I say in a shaky voice.

He quickly regains his composure. “Tell me you regret Friday night, and I’ll leave right now,” he says quietly, taking a cautious step towards me

“I… I don’t,” I whisper. 

Sterling, wasting no time, closes the space between us, his hands slide up the sides of my face, and his lips are on mine again; this time, I don’t push him off because I can’t deny that I want him regardless of the consequences. He runs his hands down my arms until he reaches my wrists; grabbing them, he places them over my head and begins to run wet kisses across my jawline. I instinctively drop my head to the side to give him full access. He quickly gets to the sweet spot on my neck, and I let out a small moan; I feel him smile against my neck. He lets my wrists go, and I wrap my arms around his neck, digging my nails in. He reacts immediately, letting out a deep moan from the back of his throat. 

I feel his hands grow tighter on my hips as he pushes me hard against the door frame, “you are all I’ve been thinking about since Friday, and I finally have you in my hands; I won’t let you go until I’m done with you,” he purrs at me before devouring my mouth again. When he breaks the kiss, I complain at the abrupt departure. Sterling smirks at me, then slowly gets down on his knees, unbuttons the rest of his shirt, and throws it to the side, not taking his eyes off me the entire time. I bite my lip at the sight of him, he is a fantastic specimen of a man, and he’s on his knees in front of me. His hands slide up the sides of my thighs, hooking his fingers under my panties, and slowly pulls them down. Once at my feet, I step out of them, and he slides them to the side. 

Sterling starts placing small kisses up my leg while nudging them apart. A breathless moan escapes my lips as one of his hands slips up between my legs and begins to run up and down the outside of my folds. “Wet already, Cami,” he says in a proud tone. Gently he lifts my left leg and places it over his shoulder, wrapping his arm around it to keep me steady while he continues to move closer to my wet core with his mouth. Not missing a beat, he slides a finger in and begins to massage my aching bud. I can’t stifle the loud moan that fills the room, and neither can Sterling. I bury my hand in his hair as my other hand desperately tries to find something to hold on to. It’s then I feel Sterling’s finger leave my bud and slide down the inside of my folds and into my core; I inhale a sharp breath before my eyes close, and my head rolls off to the side in pure pleasure at the feeling of his finger inside me. He begins to move in and out of me slowly, and my breath becomes more laboured. He curls his finger inside me and rubs hard on my g-spot while his warm tongue makes contact with my pulsating bud. I instinctively start to grind against him, needing to feel more pressure on that spot.

My orgasm is building. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, the tingling, and pulsing.

As if knowing that I was close, his grip on my leg becomes tighter. His finger slowly speeds up to match my rhythm while pressing harder on my aching spot. His tongue then stops moving and applies pressure to my bud, which is my undoing.

“I’m cumming!” I scream. “Oooooh FUCK, STERLING, I’m cumming!” It ripples over me, like fireworks going off in my face. I feel a little dizzy but completely lost in the wave of pleasure. Sterling doesn’t slow down a bit; he keeps going until my breath becomes steady again. Knowing that I’m now spent, Sterling pulls away, slowly removing his finger from inside me. He then gently places my leg back on the floor before leaning back on his knees. Watching me, a smile creeps across his face. “You sound amazing when you cum for me, Camilla,” he says before leaning over to my bag and tugging a couple of tissues out. Always the gentleman, he cleans up the mess I made. Standing up, he walks into the kitchen, disposing of the tissues. I take a moment to enjoy the sight of Sterling shirtless in my kitchen. My body instantly reacts by covering me entirely with goosebumps.

He strides up to me, and, without saying a word, he wraps his arms around my waist. “You taste fucking amazing, Cami,” he uses his thumb to clean the corners of his mouth. “Best meal I’ve ever had, but, my darling, I’m far from full,” he says as his eyes darken again in lust.

He unwraps his arms and moves to the side of me; gently taking my left arm, he places it around his neck and picks me up.

“Couch or bed, Cami?” He asks, smiling at me.

“Bed,” I purr at him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies with a wink.

The rest of the night, Sterling did not disappoint. We barely slept, and I was left very, very satisfied when I finally closed my eyes.

Tuesday morning

I awoke in the same position I fell asleep in the night before, tangled in Sterling’s arms. It was a strange position to be in. I wasn’t used to having a man in my bed and that man being Sterling. Someone that was, until four days ago, my close friend. Laying there, I try to think of how this scenario will play out for both of us. I begin to get lost in my thoughts. The what-ifs, the whys, and the self-blame that inevitability creeps in to make the situation worse. When my anxiety starts to roll over me, I hear a knock at my door, and my eyes shoot to my clock on the side table. 

8 AM, Fuck! It’s Kay, I think to myself. 

I jump out of bed, grab my robe off the back of my desk chair and wrap it tightly around myself. I hurry down the hall and swing my door open. Kay is standing there in her usual ripped jeans, white tee, messy high bun, and blue Get Roasted apron covered in coffee and flour.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she beams at me
“Morning, Kay,” I say quietly
“Cami, where did you sneak off to?” Sterling calls from my bedroom.

Christ! I think to myself. 

Rolling my eyes, I turn around. “I’m just talking to Kay; I’ll be back in a minute,” I yell back.

“Hey, Kaylee,” he shouts back. “Imma hit the head while you’re gone, babe”.

I push Kay backward into the corridor and close the door behind me.

Before I can say anything, Kay jumps in, “You don’t need to explain anything to me, boo; you’re old enough and ugly enough to make your own decisions.”

“Thank you, Kay” I smile at her.

“No worries, boo. Here’s your hot chocolate, extra marshmallows,” she shoots me a wink. “You can throw it in Sterling’s face, but if you do, take a picture for ya, girl.” As she says that, we both bust out laughing

“I’ll keep that in mind”.
“Right, I’m off.” she declares. “I’ve left Carl alone for too long, and we both know what happens when I do that”.

“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about climbing that boy,” I say sarcastically as she descends the stairs towards the front doors.

“I’m not dead, bitch!” she shouts back.
“Hoe!” I yell at her.
“Slut,” she calls over her shoulder, pushing the doors open.
“Looooooove you, Kay”. 

“Love you too, boo.” The doors close behind her; she skips down the steps and disappears across the road.

I take a deep breath and head back into my apartment. Kay’s hot chocolate in hand, I walk into my bedroom and see Sterling sitting on the side of my bed in his boxers, scrolling through his phone. He looks up and smiles.

“Babe? Really?” I ask sarcastically
He puts his phone down. “What?” he laughs, shrugging his shoulders.
“What the fuck was that, Ster?” I ask in an irritated tone 

He gets up from the bed and walks towards me. “Well, you are a babe, and after last night, I’m hoping, my babe,” he reaches out to put his arms around my waist. 

I step back from him. “Wait, what?”
“What?” He looks at me, confused.
“Your babe? Is that what you just said?” 
“Yes, Cami, that’s exactly what I just said,” he replies in a condescending tone

“Sterling, I’m not sure what you think last night meant, but I can assure you it was never going to lead to a relationship between you and me,” my reply icy.

“I’m confused,” he says, running his hand through his hair.
I roll my eyes at him. “I don’t think I could have been any clearer with you just now”.

I go to walk past him, but as I do, he grabs my arm. “Cami,” his tone slightly demanding.

“What, Sterling?” My eyes are now fixed on his hand on my arm. He quickly removes it. “Do you think I’m stupid?” 

“What? Of course not, Camilla,” he replies, now turning and facing me.

“So if you don’t think I’m stupid, then what made you think for one minute that I wouldn’t put two and two together and realise that you coming here last night had nothing to do with talking?”

Calling his bluff, nice! My inner voice says in a boastful tone

“Oh, come on, Camilla. You were begging for me to take you,” he smirks at me
“Excuse me?” I spit back at him.
“You heard me. Don’t play coy; it doesn’t suit you,” he replies sarcastically.

“Wow, Sterling, don’t hold back,” my reply dripping with sarcasm. “Tell me why? What was the point of all this?”

His eyes turn dark. “Why what, Camilla?” he asked, frustrated.
“Don’t play coy, Sterling. It doesn’t suit you.” I throw his words right back at him.

The tension between us is high. Sterling doesn’t like the feeling of not having control of his environment and those in it, so I can see that this situation irritates him. 

He leans down, his lips now next to my ear. “I’ll tell you why. Because I’m done talking, and I’m done pretending that I don’t want you,” he steps back, letting out a sigh in frustration. 

“I don’t want to be friends with you, okay?’ He crosses his arms over his chest. “From the moment we met 18 months ago, I have been in love with you. I didn’t tell you because you were happy to be friends, but it was killing me. Friday night changed everything for me. I saw my chance…” Anger flashed across his face, “but I couldn’t let HIM take the spot I so desperately wanted. The thought of another man kissing your lips or touching your body the way I do makes me sick to my stomach”.

“Hold the fuck up,” I put my hand up, stopping him before he can continue.

My mind is racing. Him? Him? I think to myself.

“Who is this HIM?” I snap back at him.
“Sorry?” He replies, surprised.
“You said him; who is he?”

Sterling backs up, sitting down on the edge of my bed. “Detective Harris.” He spits his name with so much venom that anyone in his vicinity would be dead

“Jonathan?” I reply in shock. “What does he have to do with this, Sterling?”
“Christ, Camilla,” he says, rolling his eyes at me.
“Answer me, Sterling!” my voice now stern.

“I was in his office yesterday morning. I and his partner Detective Miller were going over some last-minute pre-trial papers. I needed Jonathan to sign off on some of them. Miller told me that Jon had the day off, but he would give him a call and see if he could drop by. Once he got him on the phone, Jon told Miller that he was at a café three blocks away ordering a coffee. Miller asked how long he would be, and he told him he was about to ask Camilla to join him and didn’t know how long he’d be, but he’d drop by after.”

Sterling takes a deep breath, “when I heard your name, my stomach sank. I had to know if it was you or someone else. I probed Miller, and he let slip that Camilla was an Australian girl Jon had met while door-knocking on Saturday and that he was smitten with her. The moment he said ‘Australian,’ I knew it was you. I quickly excused myself and instantly dialed your number, but when you didn’t answer, I began to panic”.

That’s why he kept blowing my phone up; he wanted me to leave, I thought to myself, shaking my head

PRICK!?! My inner voice shouts

“I just needed another chance to show you that I’m the man for you, not him. You see that, right?” He looks to me for reassurance. “He can’t give you want, but I can. He will never love you as I do”.

It’s taking me all my strength not to walk across my room and slap the taste out his mouth. I can’t listen to another word, nor can I stand the sight of him.

“You need to get dressed and leave before I hurt you, Sterling,” I say sternly, pointing at my bedroom door.

“Just stay away from him. You’re mine Camilla, remember that,” his tone demanding while his gaze feels like it could burn me where I stand. He gets up and, walking to the other side of the bed, picks up his clothes and begins to get dressed.

“In case you have forgotten, Sterling, I’m nobody’s property, and you’d do best to remember that,” my tone cold.

Sterling turned to face me, his eyes narrow as Anger flashed through them. He walks up to me, now standing beside me, he stops, “we’ll talk about this later. You need time to cool down,” he says arrogantly before walking down the hall, opening my apartment door and letting it slam behind him, frightening me in the process. I pick up a pillow close by and hurl it at my door. “FUCK YOU, STERLING,” I yell.